Escape Velocity
Calculated it twice. The couch wins.
$29.99
Heavyweight Comfort Colors tee · $29.99 · sizes S–4XL · made-to-order, printed just for you.
Trust me, you need this.
Escape velocity is the speed required to leave a body's gravity, and this one has never been achieved. The diagram plots a dashed escape path that curves politely back to a couch sitting where the planet ought to be. Engraved like an antique astronomical plate on a heavyweight Comfort Colors tee. Made to order, printed just for you.
- Fabric & fit
- Soft, classic unisex tee. True to size — size up for a roomier drape.
- Made-to-order
- Made-to-order, ships in 3–7 days. Printed just for you — never warehoused.
- Arrival window
- Order today. Estimated arrival: 1–2 weeks from purchase.
- Shipping
- Flat-rate US shipping, free on orders over $75. Final shipping cost is calculated at checkout.
- Returns
- 30-day, no-questions-asked returns.
