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Crits & Embers

The tabletop × weed line — for the goblin who runs the campaign and packs the bowl.

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Crits & Embers

Mister Munchies

He has no weaknesses. He has a snack budget.

$29.99

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Crits & Embers

SHATTER & SATIVA

Evocation spell, meet energizing strain — break the tension, never the vibe.

$29.99

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Crits & Embers

Puff Pass Perception

Roll Perception. Pass the pipe. Both checks succeed.

$29.99

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Crits & Embers

Pass Without Trace & Pot

Stealth bonus applied. Pass the pot.

$29.99

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Crits & Embers

Mage Hand & Mary Jane

Remote delivery for the sticky green.

$29.99

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Crits & Embers

Suggestion & Sativa

Enchantment spell, daylight strain. Both readings land.

$29.99

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Crits & Embers

Thunderwave & THC

A thunderous hit of pure lightning.

$29.99

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Crits & Embers

Rolling Advantage

When the dice turn in your favor.

$29.99

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Crits & Embers

Healing Word & Hash

Bonus action: restore hit points. And the vibe.

$29.99

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Crits & Embers

Scry & Smoke

Read the omens. Pack the bowl. The future is favorable.

$29.99

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Crits & Embers

Blessed Bud

A small ward for game night: one natural-20, one packed bowl, zero rush.

$29.99

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Crits & Embers

Arcane Focus

The wizard's concentrate for when the spell just won't land.

$29.99

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Crits & Embers

Natural One Hitter

Technically a critical failure. Emotionally, it hits different.

$29.99

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Crits & Embers

Critical Hit & Herb

Roll a natural 20 on your herb game.

$29.99

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Crits & Embers

Dragon's Breath

A dragon's breath weapon, reimagined as the glowing golden exhale of a good hit.

$29.99

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Crits & Embers

Bong of Holding — Satchel Edition

Same extradimensional stash joke, heavier on the enchanted satchel smoke.

$29.99

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Crits & Embers

Quest for the Good Stuff

Roll initiative. Follow the map. Find the good stuff.

$29.99

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Crits & Embers

High Fantasy

See the omen. Roll the die. Pass the torch.

$29.99

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Crits & Embers

Dice to Meet You

A charisma check you actually pass.

$29.99

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Crits & Embers

Dice Gremlin

Every party needs a Dice Gremlin. Yours is probably reading this.

$29.99

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Crits & Embers

Bong of Holding

Extradimensional capacity. Zero party moderation.

$29.99

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Crits & Embers

Critical Rip

When the dice say 20 and the bowl says yes.

$29.99

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Crits & Embers

Dungeon Munchies Society

Sworn members eat first. Always.

$29.99

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About Crits & Embers

Crits & Embers is a collection of funny stoner shirts built for the tabletop crowd: dice goblins, dungeon masters, and back-room alchemists who take game night seriously and everything else a little less so. Each design is an original piece of ornate, apothecary-style artwork — genuinely clever writing on a heritage aesthetic, not head-shop clip-art. Every tee is made-to-order and printed just for you, so you get a fresh, soft garment instead of something pulled off a warehouse shelf.

Questions

Are these shirts made-to-order?

Yes. Every Fog & Fortune tee is printed just for you when you order it — nothing sits in a warehouse. That means it ships in about 3–7 days and arrives fresh.

Do you get the D&D references?

We run the campaign. The jokes are written for people at the table, not explained to people who aren't — if you get it, it's for you.

What if the fit isn't right?

You've got 30 days for a no-questions-asked return. Check the size chart on each product page first and you'll probably be fine.